[kitten] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-kitten-pkinit-alg-agility-05

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[kitten] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-kitten-pkinit-alg-agility-05

Christer Holmberg
Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
Review result: Ready with Issues

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-kitten-pkinit-alg-agility-05
Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
Review Date: 2019-03-01
IETF LC End Date: 2019-02-17
IESG Telechat date: 2019-03-07

Summary: The draft needs to be more clear on how RFC 4556 is updated.

Major issues: None

Minor issues:

Q1:

For the unfamiliar reader, it is unclear exactly how RFC 4556 is updated. There
is e.g., no text indicating what sections of 4556 are updated, and there is no
"Updates to RFC 4556" section.

I assume the remainder of the draft then updates RFC 4556, but I think it needs
to be more clear for the unfamiliar reader.

Even if a "Updates to RFC 4556" section would not be feasible, the document
should indicate what parts/sections of 4556 are updated, and what sections in
the draft defines those updates.

Nits/editorial comments:

Q2:

Both the Abstract and the Introduction start with "This document updates
PKINIT,..."

I think it would be good to first give some background information on the
issue(s), and then state that the document fixes those issues by updating RFC
4556.


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Re: [kitten] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-kitten-pkinit-alg-agility-05

Robbie Harwood
Christer Holmberg <[hidden email]> writes:

> Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
> Review result: Ready with Issues
>
> I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
> Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
> by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
> like any other last call comments.
>
> For more information, please see the FAQ at
>
> <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-kitten-pkinit-alg-agility-05
> Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
> Review Date: 2019-03-01
> IETF LC End Date: 2019-02-17
> IESG Telechat date: 2019-03-07
>
> Summary: The draft needs to be more clear on how RFC 4556 is updated.
>
> Major issues: None
>
> Minor issues:
>
> Q1:
>
> For the unfamiliar reader, it is unclear exactly how RFC 4556 is updated. There
> is e.g., no text indicating what sections of 4556 are updated, and there is no
> "Updates to RFC 4556" section.
>
> I assume the remainder of the draft then updates RFC 4556, but I think it needs
> to be more clear for the unfamiliar reader.
>
> Even if a "Updates to RFC 4556" section would not be feasible, the document
> should indicate what parts/sections of 4556 are updated, and what sections in
> the draft defines those updates.
>
> Nits/editorial comments:
>
> Q2:
>
> Both the Abstract and the Introduction start with "This document updates
> PKINIT,..."
>
> I think it would be good to first give some background information on the
> issue(s), and then state that the document fixes those issues by updating RFC
> 4556.
Hi Christer, thanks for your review.

Greg has created and uploaded a new version (-06) to the tracker that
hopefully addresses your concerns.

Thanks,
--Robbie

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Re: [kitten] [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-kitten-pkinit-alg-agility-05

Alissa Cooper
Christer, thank you for your review. Robbie and Greg, thanks for your responses. I entered a No Objection ballot.

Alissa

On Mar 6, 2019, at 4:01 PM, Robbie Harwood <[hidden email]> wrote:

Christer Holmberg <[hidden email]> writes:

Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
Review result: Ready with Issues

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-kitten-pkinit-alg-agility-05
Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
Review Date: 2019-03-01
IETF LC End Date: 2019-02-17
IESG Telechat date: 2019-03-07

Summary: The draft needs to be more clear on how RFC 4556 is updated.

Major issues: None

Minor issues:

Q1:

For the unfamiliar reader, it is unclear exactly how RFC 4556 is updated. There
is e.g., no text indicating what sections of 4556 are updated, and there is no
"Updates to RFC 4556" section.

I assume the remainder of the draft then updates RFC 4556, but I think it needs
to be more clear for the unfamiliar reader.

Even if a "Updates to RFC 4556" section would not be feasible, the document
should indicate what parts/sections of 4556 are updated, and what sections in
the draft defines those updates.

Nits/editorial comments:

Q2:

Both the Abstract and the Introduction start with "This document updates
PKINIT,..."

I think it would be good to first give some background information on the
issue(s), and then state that the document fixes those issues by updating RFC
4556.

Hi Christer, thanks for your review.

Greg has created and uploaded a new version (-06) to the tracker that
hopefully addresses your concerns.

Thanks,
--Robbie
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